23 years old. Right out of college. New to New York. Mother – died two months earlier at 48. Father – well, he was around. Sort of.
I was trying to be an actor – making the rounds, visiting agents, seeing Broadway shows and making friends. Although I had encountered people I suspected were gay at college, I had never before truly interacted with people who had accepted their sexual orientation openly. But as an actress in NYC – that was part of the scene.
Suddenly – I landed my first Broadway show. I was in heaven. I was independent, part of the ‘in’ crowd… I was invincible….
…until two of my best friends passed away within months of one another.
These guys were not visibly ill — at least not when I saw them. One day they were hanging around auditions, going to the gym – big, handsome, hunky 20-somethings…. Six months later they were in the ground.
We had a meeting for the women currently in Broadway shows. I remember someone’s apartment – very artsy, things draped everywhere. Broadway musical posters. Pamphlets about AIDS. And a bowl – filled with colorful plastic wrappers. Condoms.
Oh boy. This was the guy’s terrain, not mine.
They passed around the bowl. Some girls dug in – grabbing handfuls of the free loot. Others were afraid to even touch the bowl. It came closer. What to do? I gingerly reached in and took two – pink.
Pink? What guy is gonna wear a pink rubber?
I hide them in my bag.
I remembered borrowing a suitcase from my parents for my first trip overseas. Somewhere in Tromso, Norway I found two condoms, hidden in the folds of the blue fabric. Thinking I was cool, I showed them to a friend.
The next night he rigged them inside the oboe player’s instrument – so when she blew, out came the condom.
Here, though, no oboe. No jokes – even as someone demonstrated how to put a condom on a banana. Pink or not, this was serious. Our friends were dying. Women were the next target demographic.
And they still are. Women are much more likely to get AIDS during sex.
We need to get over our squeamishness, stop being embarrassed, and take action. This means:
1. Keep condoms in the house, in your purse, wherever
2. Lean how to use them
3. Insist your partner use a condom. Period. No excuses.
What’s your funny condom story? Come on – everyone has one. And if you don’t – that means you’re not using one.
Just read this, really touching.
Condom parties are a great idea, what better way to promote fun AND safety?
I have a condom in the front pocket of every pair of pants I own. It seems weird now thinking about it, but it only makes sense! you never know when it’s gonna go down! haha